Friday, April 11, 2014

MISKONSEPSI FUNDAMENTAL

Pagi ini, 12 April 2014 di timeline twitter gua, @fahrurozi, ada tweet seseorang yang di-retweet oleh seorang tokoh yang gua follow. Jika dinarasikan dan dibentuk dalam sebuah cerita sangat pendek, kira-kira pesan yang bisa diambil kaya gini:
x: "mau kerja apa lo?"
y: "PNS"
x: "kenapa mau jadi PNS?"
y: "pengen ngebanggain orang tua"

Ada yang salah disana. Ada miskonsepsi fundamental yang menjadi stereotype mayoritas penduduk Indonesia, dari kalangan ekonomi manapun. Yang salah bukan soal jadi PNS, apalagi pengen ngebanggain orang tua. Menurut gua, sebenernya niat bikin orang tua bangga adalah sesuatu yang sangat istimewa.

Kalo kita gunakan silogisme berbahasa, maka analogi yang tepat dari cerita pendek diatas jadinya adalah "kerja jadi PNS itu ngebanggain orang tua". 

Kenapa bisa ngebanggain orang tua? Apakah: a) itu cita-cita orang tua untuk anaknya jadi PNS meskipun nggak sukses atau jatuh miskin atau malah terlibat kasus korupsi? Atau b) lingkungan dari si orang tua yang membuat PNS terlihat membanggakan?

Kalo dalam jawaban yang a), rasanya ngaco kalo ada pemikiran orang tua kaya gitu. Jadi PNS itu, gimanapun orang bilang aman, nyaman, dan susah buat dipecat, sesungguhnya penuh resiko. Resiko ini salah satunya muncul dari jumlah kebutuhan yang pas-pasan dengan jumlah pemasukan. Bukannya gua berfikir bahwa gaji PNS kecil, tapi kebutuhan tiap daerah berbeda dan income PNS pun bisa berbeda-beda. Misal: Kementerian X gaji bersihnya lebih kecil dari Kementerian Y karena urusan Kementerian X yang lebih layak mendapat gaji lebih besar. Atau di Kementerian X, gajinya katakanlah 3 juta perbulan di seluruh Indonesia. Nah selanjutnya apakah 3 juta itu sudah cukup buat kebutuhan hidup di Jakarta?  Apakah 3 juta udah cukup buat hidup di daerah pelosok yang BBM aja harganya bisa mencapai 30 - 50 ribu per liter dan pasokan BBM sering kosong? Atau daerah yang harga makan nasi campur di warteg bisa sekitar 50 ribu untuk porsi yang sama di Jakarta bisa dibayar cuma dengan 15 ribu aja?

Sebagaimana yang udah gua jelasin diatas bahwa jadi PNS itu penuh resiko. Soal income kecil yang kelihatannya sepele justru malah membuat banyak PNS tercekik dari aspek finansial dibanding swasta. Memang ada PNS tertentu yang udah dasarnya tajir dari keturunan atau punya usaha lain, atau yang udah menduduki jabatan tinggi sehingga mereka udah gak terlalu pusing soal income karena tercukupi. Lalu gimana dengan PNS yang keuangannya pas-pasan yang a) korupsi, dan b) bersih? Dua-duanya sama-sama nanggung resiko. Kalo yang korupsi demi kebutuhan hidup dan keluarganya, dia beresiko kena sanksi administrasi dan pidana bahkan. Kalo yang bersih apa resikonya? Yah, paling anaknya kelaparan, gak bisa sekolah, atau penyakitan karena uangnya gak cukup. Ngeri gak sih?

Ketidaktahuan Menjadi Kebanggaan

Hal sepele kaya gitulah yang masyarakat Indonesia kurang paham. Di mata sebagian besar orang, jadi PNS itu adalah kebanggaan. Kerjanya santai, udah pasti dapat pensiun, susah dipecat, dapet askes, dan sebagainya. Mungkin juga karena di mata mereka PNS adalah selalu pejabat yang sukses secara materil padahal di kantor mereka pontang-panting mpot-mpotan. Kalo gua bilang ada PNS yang kerjanya sampe pagi, bahkan pada saat pergantian tahun baru 2014 kemaren masuk kantor, mungkin banyak yang gak percaya. Belum lagi dengan kesulitan lain yang nggak kelihatan dari luar. 

Pandangan mayoritas orang Indonesia masih memang mendewakan PNS. Seakan-akan jadi PNS itu pekerjaan yang membanggakan dengan segala fasilitas dan kesantaian hidup. Belum lagi dengan tanggung jawab yang sebenernya sangat besar dibandingkan dengan sektor swasta. Coba lo pernah bayangin gak, kalo ada (mungkin banyak malah) PNS yang kerjanya berurusan sama penjahat dan sampe keluarganya yang gak tau apa-apa ikut diancem. Gua gak bicara polisi atau TNI disini. Gua bicara PNS. Tapi sebagian besar orang yang baca ini mungkin mikir: "ah masa sih?" dengan wajah skeptis karena hal kaya kaya gitu bukan apa yang mereka tahu soal being PNS. Karena mereka gak tahu, mereka berpikiran yang oke-oke doang dari PNS. Lalu ketika PNS kerjanya gak bener, mereka mengkritik abis-abisan karena di pikiran sebagian besar orang "udah enak jadi PNS, kerja masih aja gak bener". Enak?

Ironi inilah yang bikin PNS, di mata publik sering dijelek-jelekin tapi ketika ada pembukaan lowongan PNS, pendaftarnya tetap terbanyak. Karena mereka nggak tau hal yang gua ceritain diatas, jadinya mereka berbondong-bondong berusaha untuk masuk PNS atau menyuruh anaknya untuk masuk PNS. Karena bagi mereka PNS adalah kebanggaan.  

Tujuan, Proses, Hasil

Gua nggak merasa bangga jadi PNS, tapi juga nggak malu jadi PNS. Kenapa nggak bangga? Ya gua merasa belum melakukan sesuatu yang bisa bikin gua bangga dengan tanggungjawab profesi gua sebagai PNS. Mungkin bagi orang lain, jadi PNS aja udah kebanggaan. Disitulah miskonsepsi fundamental terbentuk. Orang lebih peduli pada status daripada prestasi.

Sebagai contoh, gua flashback dan ngeliat diri gue sendiri di masa lalu sewaktu gua masih kerja di kampus sebagai asisten dosen. Status gua (asisten dosen) saat itu nggaklah bikin gua merasa bangga dan senang. Tapi ketika gua dikasih kesempatan untuk ngajar dan bisa ngasih ilmu ke mahasiswa yang belum ngerti materi, lalu jadi ngerti karena udah gua jelasin, disitulah gua baru merasa bangga dan senang bukan main. Gua merasa bangga karena gua merasa bermanfaat. Bukan merasa bangga karena status gua asisten dosen.

Jadi, PNS gak membanggakan dong? Salah. Di mata gua, jadi PNS itu hanyalah status. Kebanggaan itu dinilai dari tujuan jadi PNS apa, prosesnya untuk mencapai tujuan jadi PNS apa, dan hasilnya apa. Jadi PNS itu, kalo emang tujuannya misalkan membawa kebaikan dan perubahan bagi negara ini, menurut gua udah sangat nobel. Lalu gimana prosesnya? Kalo prosesnya dijalankan dengan efektif, lebih mantep lagi. Lebih oke lagi kalo hasilnya jelas terasa dan bermanfaat. Seandainya gua bisa memberikan suatu ide X yang bermanfaat untuk rakyat Indonesia dan gua bisa mewujudkannya, baru deh gua akan bangga. Bukan karena status gua. 

Kaya salah seorang peserta tes masuk TNI AL yang kebetulan ketemu dan ngobrol sama gua dan gua sempet nanya: "Kenapa mau jadi ABRI mas?" dan dia jawab dengan intonasi yang serius: "Saya kesel mas sama Malaysia yang ngerebut pulau kita terus, saya mau ikut terlibat menjaga perbatasan mas". Itu nobel. Brilian. Semoga beliau saat ini diterima di TNI AL dan bisa menjaga daerah perbatasan kita dengan hasil yang memuaskan bagi Indonesia sesuai dengan tujuannya bergabung dengan TNI AL.

Problematika soal tujuan, proses, dan hasil ini berlaku untuk semua jenis profesi. Bukan PNS doang. Kalo di almamater gua, ada semacam stigma yang beredar kalo misalnya lo anak FHUI tapi lo nggak lawyering, maka lo bisa dipandang sebelah mata lah. Kenyataannya, banyak yang justru malah terjerumus (dan gua salah satunya) memaksakan diri untuk bergabung dengan lawfirm karena mengincar statusnya sebagai lawyer. Lalu tiba-tiba mereka resah karena merasa ini-itu, gak cocok, gak betah, gak passion dan segala-galanya terlepas dari cocok-cocokkan lingkungan kerja. Karena status lawyer yang notabene keren itulah mereka jadi lawyer, bukan karena tujuan, proses dan hasil sebagai lawyer itu sendiriKembali kaya anak SMA yang cuma modal ikut-ikutan dan kebawa arus tanpa prinsip yang jelas. 

Meskipun gua cuma 1 dari ratusan juta penduduk Indonesia, gua akan terus berusaha untuk mencapai tujuan gua untuk merubah stereotype ketidaktahuan yang menjadi kebanggaan, berubah menjadi pengetahuan. Kebanggaan akan status berubah menjadi kebanggaan akan tujuan, proses, dan hasil yang dicapai. Menjadi PNS, lawyer, dosen, guru, dokter, insinyur, dll. profesi apapun yang bergengsi, gak seharusnya dipandang keren sepanjang yang dikerjain nggak atau belumlah keren. Tapi apapun statuslo, kalau emang yang lo kerjakan itu tujuan, proses, dan hasilnya keren, maka lo berhak untuk bangga.



Friday, April 4, 2014

DOUCHE!

I feel like an overproductive rat now I'm posting two posts in my blog in just, one, hour. How productive!

Actually, this post is more like whiny-weak-girl. Why? because when I drove home with my motorcycle, I was crashed TWICE by TWO DIFFERENT motorcycles. The first one crashed me and then he just drove out, smiling, and said sorry. The last one, well, fuck him. I was queuing behind a car which was stopped because it waited the other car at the other way to go out of that tiny-narrow-street. You know what, at that peacefully heaven situation then the motorcycle, driven by an old mustache man, carried 1 woman and 2 children, crashed my front tire of motorcycle eventhough there was no space for him to go along. The most annoyingly, he then mad at me by saying something with his sore expression - what an expression - and then look at me. I was really, really mad I would like to stop him and hurt him so bad but then I looked at that 1 woman (probably) his wife and those 2 children (maybe his children) stared at me with their eyes confused and little bit afraid. That old guy, was then looking at me again, turn his head and showed his scary expression which was "uuuuhhh I'm afraid". 

What a douche bag.  I loathe this one to death it really pissed me off until now that I really need to share this story with anyone. Since I don't really have someone special to share shit like this :( (no kidd, I'm fine with my lovely-lonely-life) or actually no people should really hear this unimportant shit because this shit happens to almost everyone in Jakarta I think. 

However, as a part of people of Jakarta, I need to get used to it. Actually I'm already get used to it but I can't accept if someone's angry when he/she's wrong! And that was what I found tonight. I'm trying hard to forget that and forgive the guy but uh-oh it's difficult so decide to write this.

All in all, I just hope that it reduces my sin (Amin). and I hope he'd get balanced azab soon. In what form? I don't know. But staying in a jail for a month long would be nice.

What Went Wrong?

I love my mom, for sure, and my dad as well. Love them very much.

However, it's not about them. Yet it's more about my bloody-random-thought which I really should enjoy or at least not think about. It's related to my occupation as government officer*) which, strangely, I'm now dare to write it publicly. You know, as government officer I need to keep my mouth shut about this-and-that or whatever. But this time, I feel the need to write this.

*) no, I won't call myself as civil servant because it's bloody-hypocrite-deceiving-bollocks since literally, it shouldn't be translated that way.

Being government officer, people say, is easy. Easy in terms of workload, pressure, facility, health insurance, retirement assurance, etc etc you name it. With that being said, (most) people think that government officer don't deserve such huge wages or salary because actually their work is easy. But in practice, judging by how easy it looks, being government officer is one of the most popular profession in Indonesia. Up until now especially to those older generations and those opportunists.

In fact, it isn't.

I'm not saying that being government officer is difficult or tiring. Our jobs look easy because we do it that way. The truth is, being a government is about working with huge responsibility on your back. Regardless it's easy or not, the responsibility of working extremely close in corruption is massive. With the authority we have, we have the power especially in giving license to people (read: private-rich-douche-sectors) who, mostly, their license shouldn't be granted or they want their license is fastened. Since we have such authorities, those people who want better service due to their selfishness or maybe some urgent reasons, or those people who actually don't qualify with such requirements needed to earn the license, trying to bribe us with money and more facility. Even worse, they threat ourselves or our family to do what they want. This is a very simple explanation.

Being government officers is not about how easy our job is. But it's more about how much responsibility we have. So that's fair to say government officers deserve better life than what we're having now so we won't be tempted to do what's wrong, or giving license to those who shouldn't because financially, we're adequate already. 

But first of all, my decision to be one of government officers was my ambition to help this country from its downfall. So I didn't really care about how much money and facility I would earn. I just wanted to contribute and make a change by working inside the system. If I wanted more money, then I should have just working somewhere else but not in government because working as government officer, the most important thing is that you have to work with your heartfelt mind. Money comes second. Or maybe last.

Then accidentally, this Ministry accepted me to be its candidate of government officer. Aside of my strong willingness to become lecturer and how about my passion by working in Ministry, the most thoughtful consideration was that "I need to save my money more, and spend my money less. Because my salary won't be huge compared to office I worked at previously". 

Few days ago, I heard gossips from all around my office regarding Integrated Service Operational Aid that soon will be paid among officers in our Directorate. To put it simply, there's more fee to be paid for officers at our Directorate. More money will come to our bank accounts. But it's still gossip up until now anyway. 

Then something changes bit by bit. The fee hasn't been settled yet by our bosses or maybe other bosses from other institutions. I understand that to make such policy isn't easy at all. Despite all that, I'm already imagining what I would do with the money and then subconsciously, I've targeted my imagination to be true once the money arrive. Then I desperately wanting it to be true. Then I desperately wanting the money to be shared. Then I feel disappointed that it's still a rumour, not reality.

What went wrong?

Like I wrote above, I said that government officers must be sincere and heartfelt in doing our job. But suddenly, there's now coming an odd feeling that I want the money so bad eventhough I'm not in debt nor in the situation where I desperately need the money. Sometimes I feel like, "why do I want this? I have to see myself in the past where I was an idealist. I should see those poor and sick people before thinking to earn more money from the government. If I really want more money, I should have just worked in the lawfirm then!".

In my defense, the philosophy of why I should have the money and make myself (quite) wealthy first is like an oxygen instruction in a plane. That you must help yourself first in wearing your oxygen before you help anybody else. Even your children or your lover. Because it would be stupid if you help someone else yet yourself isn't really secured with oxygen and the risk of you and people you help being die-choking is extremely bigger than if you help yourself first.

Alas, I can't still figure out why do I have such double standard. It's pity knowing me now almost 25 year old but still inconsistent with my principles.