Tuesday, November 25, 2014


The Song is "Homesick" by Kings of Convenience.

Recently, I've been whacked by continuous waves of "what went wrong" and "how to manage my life" thoughts. Yea it's not strange actually since I'm now on my quarter life crisis. Also the fact that I'm writing this on 23.00 o'clock means that I'm on my contemplating hours (start from 22.00 to 02.00). That's why I'm trying hard to sleep early at 21.00 to avoid that.

Surprisingly, in such uncomfortable moment, Homesick popped in my mind. I like KOC but I believe that the last time I heard them was 2010 or when I was still in University. Never heard them eversince due to my formatted hard drive which contained GBs of musics. Such a right timing for a wrong time I would say.

Let's go to the lyrics. I don't know who's going to read this and I don't know whether the reader has same perception with me. I bold the words which can make me feel headache just to read that let alone think about that. Now here we go:

I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
but I can't stop listening to the sound
of two soft voices
blended in perfection
from the reels of this record that I've found.

Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

I've traveled far and I've burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
all the other options held before me,
would wither in the light of my plan.

So I'll lose some sales and my boss won't be happy,
but there's only one thing on my mind
searching boxes underneath the counter,
on a chance that on a tape I'd find...
a song for someone who needs somewhere to long for.

Because I no longer know where home is.

Thank you, Kings of Convenience. What a way to remind me something important in such inconvenient way.


Few days ago I heard gossip that few of my friends, who're very nice people, whose have relationships that looked so sweet, had affair with someone else. I laughed to that. Turned out it was true. My friends had affair after long and (looking) sweet relationship.

That was just pain in the ass. I mean, if my friends, the very kind people, had affair, how about anyone (or we can say common people) else? They weren't just lie to their partners but also to many people, including me. Forget about the latter since it's not really important that they cheated me, but to cheat in their commitment?

But what do I know? Cheating is getting more & more common these days, so I understand. I know that relationship is getting overrated. The word 'love' is now awfully overused. At the end of the day love is more used as camouflage of lust than affection. Cheating becomes significant part in that.

I'm not specifically enraged by the fact the cheating was happened in the-so-called relationship. I'm more angry because the cheating, that happened to their relationship, is a part of the-so-called commitment. Having said that, commitment isn't just about relationship but relationship is a part of commitment. Commitment is huge. It can be commitment to our job, to our profession, to our family, or every single thing that we belong and we really put an effort to that. By cheating in something we commit, means that we can also cheat in other aspect of life that we commit ourselves too.

To put in a bigger picture, cheating in something we commit means breaking our self-trust. How can we trust many people there when we know that they can cheat to someone they love, or they put in commitment?

I'm not being a teenager who moans like "oh baby, it's difficult to trust people", making gobshite quote like "trust nobody" or like "I don't like people" and so on. However, there's a point in those teenagers' rebellion inspiration. I can now confirm that it's really difficult to trust people. As I wrote above, even romantic couples are cheating to their partners. Yes, those couples ARE still cheating until now.

To whom it may bloody concern, may your soul enlightened after reading this and you'll do the right thing hereinafter. This is my concern, not a jibe to all of you.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

3 Things I Suddenly Miss

As a 24 year old man, of course there were so many joyful, hateful, memories in my past. Some of them, even the ugly one, the one you don't want to repeat now, are just too remarkable that it feels funny just to remember. Here I am now, suddenly remember those things and all of sudden I feel like I want to post them on my long-forgotten blog. Win-win for me and my blog right? he he. So here they are:

  1. When I was in junior high and then senior high, during final tests, I used to sit with senior or junior from different class but never on my batch. I wasn't entirely excited when this happened because mostly, I spent my time sitting with boys (the school managed it not by ourselves though). The most interesting thing was meeting new people without any urgency to know and get in touch with each other. But since we're on the same situation - final tests, which technically we were under same pressures and difficulties, it made the situation awkwardly really good. Why? Because we were so young we took pressure with laughs and jokes. Such a fun thing to remember.
  2. Went home, turned on the computer, signed in to Windows Live Messenger. Of all the available IM applications, Windows Live was the best for me. If you were on Windows Live, you surely understand the joyous time. If you weren't, well, I'm not going to share that happiness to you. #ShameOnYou
  3. I miss hanging out at canteen during class at college. I mean, I wasn't a good student and did what I want without really thinking its consequence. Now that I have a job which I use my salary to pay my Master Program, I realize how fool I was. Although I really, really miss those moments, I don't want to repeat that again. Now I study not just to get a Master Degree, but also a chance to redeem myself of those childish things I did in the past. One for me and my parents it is.
So, what do you get from this? Do you have certain memories in the past which suddenly appear in your mind? I believe you have. Wonderful time right? Now that you finish reminisce your good old times, let's savour this very time as this could be one for the future. The one that you would be laughing at when you look back.