"I...Simple. I want my life change at 25. My life's always great but there's a point that I feel that I can't get through this or that. Maybe because I'm weak or I'm too limited. To put in better perspective, I want to be a much better Muslim than I am now because by being a better Muslim, it's better for all and for myself. I firmly believe that become a better Muslim is the most important thing of all and that's surely the kind of change that I want to take over anything. Yet I know it's very difficult to do.
I have decided
Something must change" - Kreuzberg by Bloc Party
If I can achieve that, then I can die in peace. In other words, I want to die right after I'm changing into a better Muslim. In other words, I want to die sooner rather than later, after I become a better Muslim at 25.
This very short yet thoughtful post was actually created on November 2013. Where I was in the situation where everything seemed went wrong and difficult. Though it was all but fair to me, I kept thinking: "God, this is too heavy. I can't handle this" and it made me to think: "maybe it's better for me to die young rather than living with these difficulties", yet I decided not to post this since I somehow thought that I still can get through this all. All that being said, I was thinking to post this as a signal of my resignation of my life.
But it is not.
Here, at this very time at January 2, I change my mind. I post this not because I'm signalling my resignation. I post this because I'm not give up (yet) to my life. As I am probably strong enough due to past difficult experience, I feel much better now and well-equipped. Not being cheeky but I feel like: "hey, I'm gonna get through this". Not gonna be easy but that's life. I feel stronger than I was. Maybe because I'm adapting quite well to my new life but one thing for sure, Allah SWT hear my little prayer, and fulfill it in perfect timing. SubhanaLlah.
So here I am, Fahrurozi, 24 this time and will be 25 on 25 October 2013, stating that I'm gonna be a much better Muslim. A much better person.
"At twenty-fiveSomething must change"Yes it will.